Thursday, 21 March 2013

My Beans moment

My beans moment is at the fun run. Beans Moment (Energy) 

WALT choose words that describe a moment for the reader

 begin in the action present tense (I am, not I was) 
short, sharp sentences uses the senses (smell, taste, look, hear, touch) 
strong verbs 

 We were all ready. Mr Ford says go! We all start sprinting for the first tree, to get in there first so you don't get pushed and shoved into each other so you don't get tripped up I’ve got #3, #2, #1, #10 and #7. I was full of BEANS. when I won I was year 2. we had a smaller track, my only challenge was my best friend Drew Porter. We gapped it from everybody else and he ended up coming #2. We both put in an amazing amount of work into the race but I just won we were knocking into each other and everything else tripping and pushing each other to the limits but I made it on the inside! I thought I had won. Drew had his shoes on I didn't though. Oh No there was one more lap I had people yelling and screaming go Ben go Ben go Drew. Our Mums were standing beside each other wondering who was gonna be crowned champ for 2010 any way I go into the first corner with Drew breathing down my neck. I take the inside into the final turn. Yes yes its real I won the cross country hopping I’m not going to wake up from a dream it was real. I go up to Drew and shake his hand and say great race! to each other. thats good sportsmanship isn't it???


  1. You capture the excitement of the run with your strong verbs, Ben! You have used the present tense well to bring the reader into the moment.

    I have tried running with you and you are fast!

  2. I like your Beans Moment and the Question-mark.Great job on your work.Well done!!

  3. Amazing work Ben and you told us the times you got #3, #2, #1 and #10.Great work on beans moment Ben!!

  4. Yes Ben shaking hands shows great sportsmanship.


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